[He doesn’t reply immediately. In fact, he just downs his glass in one go, not realizing how parched he was until the water touched his lips.
Stupid human body.
But he’s buying himself time, too, to know how to reply when he’s not sure how to parse it all himself. When he lowers his hand, his brow is knitted.]
…I was angry.
[No shit.]
So, so angry. For all I knew, I had just lost you. My whole reason for living was gone. Why would I have cared about anything, or anyone else? I just wanted…
[Everyone to hurt like he hurt. Indiscriminate in how he gifted it to others.]
[She… is. Was? He doesn’t know now, not after that. How he had been only angry, and grieving, and promises and friendship suddenly meant nothing in all of his hatred born of a sudden loss.
…The things he did to her. Her arm, the fire.
Henry drinks again, and when he’s done-]
Probably not after what I did to her.
[That actually sounds a little remorseful. He looks at Alec again.]
I told you. If I don’t have you, I don’t have anything. It drove me… mad, that reality. I don’t think you understand how much I’m— [unhealthily obsessed with you] Well. How much I need to have you.
That's one hell of an admission, and the fact that Henry almost sounds like he feels bad about it carries some weight. He wonders if there's going to be any salvaging this. Any of it. Sprezzatura, Tsuchigumo... well, Tsuchigumo can get fucked for all he cares, but Sprezzatura. He may not have liked her — and frankly whether he still hates her or not is something he's going to have to figure out — but she was Henry's friend. One of the few he had.
It was never his goal to take that away from him, and he somehow managed it anyway. It really is clear he doesn't understand just how central he is to Henry's everything. How, without him, he was willing to burn every bridge, destroy everything and everyone in his path. It's frightening, the scale of it, the weight.
And yet he so selfishly indulges in it. Lets the noose wind tighter until one of them cannot hope to exist without the other. ]
I'm beginning to. [ Understand, he means. ] Was there anyone else? After the kid and Sprezzatura?
[Like the rope of that noose isn’t already chaffing against their necks. He’ll understand fully someday, he’s sure. They’ll have nothing at all that matters other than each other at that point.
But… was there anyone else? Again, memory unfurls in him, sorting through into a timeline. And he remembers—
[Well, at least Alec isn't too terribly upset about it. In all honesty? Ori probably was the least tormented compared to Sprezzatura and that frightened young man.
He glances at him again.]
I threw her around the graveyard. Her shoulder... [Might hurt. But it's likely tended to by now, right? Healing magic is active again. The Lovers cards are abundantly overflowing.] And I made her see someone she's lost.
[These descriptors are, in fact, purposefully truncated. Details are messier, he can gently step around those.]
He closes his eyes, scrubs at his face again. Since when has he ever had to apologize or fix anything he's done? Never. What a foreign, foreign concept.]
Henry frowns, dropping his hand. He lets his now-empty glass float back over to the nightstand.]
Since she's your friend, I'll do what I can to salvage what... can be salvaged.
[How things have changed, he's thinking, with vague detachment. Since when did he ever care about being better? Maybe because he had always thought he was in the right, but now... Now, it's hard to think that. Having harmed something that's important to Alec does make him regret.]
[ They've both landed in a weird space where they feel like there's something that should be salvaged, for whatever reason. Alec's never been one to care to make amends, but with Ori especially, he owes it to her. Like Henry, she's seen the things that are deep and dark and painful in him, and she didn't shy away.
[ Alec knows well enough by now how to read the minutiae of Henry's expressions, and how something so small can be indicative of something much, much bigger. That Henry wants to salvage anything at all is huge.
[He can read him better than anyone. Even when he's wearing his mask of congeniality, Henry knows Alec's learned to see through it as though it were never there.
He turns his hand palm-up, fingers gently curling around his.]
We'll give it some time first. ["We" makes it feel like it isn't an impossibility.] I doubt she wants to see me right this very moment. And I still don't feel at one hundred percent.
[Henry continues to look hesitant as he searches Alec’s face.]
After I broke her arm, I invaded her mind. We fought there, too. And then I decided to leave.
[And maybe, somehow, that is where their friendship saved them. That he didn’t kill her on the spot while she was trapped in her own mind must be a testament to something. Too bad that doesn’t feel like it helps matters.
Too bad it gets worse-]
And I left her inside of her own mind for a short while. She…
[ Alec isn't angry, for whatever it might be worth. He could never be truly mad at Henry, anyway, but in this instance especially, he just wants to help. ]
Come on. We can't fix it if I don't know what's broken.
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striketwice) wrote2022-10-02 07:47 pm
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I heard you attacked some kid. And broke Sprezzatura's arm.
You know, for starters.
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Stupid human body.
But he’s buying himself time, too, to know how to reply when he’s not sure how to parse it all himself. When he lowers his hand, his brow is knitted.]
…I was angry.
[No shit.]
So, so angry. For all I knew, I had just lost you. My whole reason for living was gone. Why would I have cared about anything, or anyone else? I just wanted…
[Everyone to hurt like he hurt. Indiscriminate in how he gifted it to others.]
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No shit.
[ No shit Henry was angry. Alec would have felt the same in his place. ]
Still... I guess I'd kind of hoped you wouldn't turn on everyone. I thought Sprezzatura was your friend.
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…The things he did to her. Her arm, the fire.
Henry drinks again, and when he’s done-]
Probably not after what I did to her.
[That actually sounds a little remorseful. He looks at Alec again.]
I told you. If I don’t have you, I don’t have anything. It drove me… mad, that reality. I don’t think you understand how much I’m— [unhealthily obsessed with you] Well. How much I need to have you.
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That's one hell of an admission, and the fact that Henry almost sounds like he feels bad about it carries some weight. He wonders if there's going to be any salvaging this. Any of it. Sprezzatura, Tsuchigumo... well, Tsuchigumo can get fucked for all he cares, but Sprezzatura. He may not have liked her — and frankly whether he still hates her or not is something he's going to have to figure out — but she was Henry's friend. One of the few he had.
It was never his goal to take that away from him, and he somehow managed it anyway. It really is clear he doesn't understand just how central he is to Henry's everything. How, without him, he was willing to burn every bridge, destroy everything and everyone in his path. It's frightening, the scale of it, the weight.
And yet he so selfishly indulges in it. Lets the noose wind tighter until one of them cannot hope to exist without the other. ]
I'm beginning to. [ Understand, he means. ] Was there anyone else? After the kid and Sprezzatura?
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But… was there anyone else? Again, memory unfurls in him, sorting through into a timeline. And he remembers—
Oh.
Uh oh.
He… just Looks at Alec.]
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What is it, Henry? What did you do?
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He actually cuts his gaze to a nondescript part of the wall that is suddenly very interesting.]
I ran into Ori.
[Ran… into…]
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[ Alec ran into her too, but he'd be damned if he was able to summon up the ability to care about her state of being at the time. ]
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I told you, I was angry. [Like this reiterated preface helps.] I attacked her.
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I know she's not dead, at least. How bad was it?
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He glances at him again.]
I threw her around the graveyard. Her shoulder... [Might hurt. But it's likely tended to by now, right? Healing magic is active again. The Lovers cards are abundantly overflowing.] And I made her see someone she's lost.
[These descriptors are, in fact, purposefully truncated. Details are messier, he can gently step around those.]
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Henry... [ Breathed out in a sigh, something weary. ] We're gonna have to fix this, you know.
[ We. ]
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He closes his eyes, scrubs at his face again. Since when has he ever had to apologize or fix anything he's done? Never. What a foreign, foreign concept.]
I can't undo what I've done.
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[ None of them can. No matter how big or small the action, no matter the pain it did or didn't cause. ]
The only thing you can do is try to do better.
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Henry frowns, dropping his hand. He lets his now-empty glass float back over to the nightstand.]
Since she's your friend, I'll do what I can to salvage what... can be salvaged.
[How things have changed, he's thinking, with vague detachment. Since when did he ever care about being better? Maybe because he had always thought he was in the right, but now... Now, it's hard to think that. Having harmed something that's important to Alec does make him regret.]
But she's probably scared of me now.
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That means something. ]
I'll talk to her, and we can go from there.
[ A pause, as he looks Henry over for a second. ]
Should probably talk to Sprezzatura, too.
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In the fire, to hurt the way he hurts when it eats away at his flesh, when every nerve is screaming in pain.
...Yeah.]
Sprezzatura won't forgive me. [He says this like he's already determined it's a certainty.]
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But does some part of you hope she will?
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Yes. I made a promise to her. I don’t want to break that.
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He reaches out, rests a hand over Henry's own. ]
Then we'll figure it out.
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He turns his hand palm-up, fingers gently curling around his.]
We'll give it some time first. ["We" makes it feel like it isn't an impossibility.] I doubt she wants to see me right this very moment. And I still don't feel at one hundred percent.
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[ Tearing his way through at least three people was probably hell on Henry's powers. ]
Still, it'd be good if I knew what exactly we're walking into with Sprezzatura.
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After I broke her arm, I invaded her mind. We fought there, too. And then I decided to leave.
[And maybe, somehow, that is where their friendship saved them. That he didn’t kill her on the spot while she was trapped in her own mind must be a testament to something. Too bad that doesn’t feel like it helps matters.
Too bad it gets worse-]
And I left her inside of her own mind for a short while. She…
[He trails… off.]
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[ Alec isn't angry, for whatever it might be worth. He could never be truly mad at Henry, anyway, but in this instance especially, he just wants to help. ]
Come on. We can't fix it if I don't know what's broken.
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