reverie⚡inbox

[striketwice]

REVERIE INBOX "THIS IS ALEC. MAKE IT QUICK." ⚡ voice . text . action ↳ OVERFLOW | REGISTRY

( code from supersuits )

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[vecna]

[Certainly so.

More context, then.]

It's a... reverse scenario of something that happened before you arrived in this place. When I was still figuring out my friendship with her. [That feeling of being able to connect with someone who shared so much in kind with him.] To put it simply, I kissed her once. And her reaction was not ideal. I think she was dealing with too much at the time.

[In the end, it gave them room to reach a proper common ground, one that didn’t always feel like it was on shaky foundations. So Henry doesn’t sound terribly upset about that, one way or another. Especially now.

But—]

So fast forward to now, and imagine my confusion when she's the one hoping for a positive reception, and I'm just surprised. Things have shifted in places where I haven't seen them. [He gives Alec a meaningful look.] On both ends, I think.

[One can assume this, overall, did not go over well. But Henry hasn't even gotten to the bit about not going with Sprezzatura to her world.]

[striketwice]

[ His first thought is that he really didn't sign up for any relationship drama — but neither, he realizes, did he sign up for a relationship, so why is that his thought at all? And why does something tug in his chest when Henry gives him that look?

Focus, Alec. ]

Okaaay, so... I'm guessing she didn't take it well.

[vecna]

[Have you met Sprezzatura? he almost says, but instead opts for a simple shake of his head.]

No. But that’s not the only reason why.

[But wait, there’s more relationship drama. Alec didn’t sign up for it, and Henry doesn’t want said drama, but here they are.]

I told her that once we’ve escaped this prison, I’m going home with someone else. [Henry doesn’t have to wonder why he chose that moment to tell her; because those things that have “shifted” really do revolve around the man sitting next to him. The way everything wants to wheel around him, and how Henry does not stop it.] She had plans to ask me to do the same. I suppose in retrospect, the timing was bad.

[TO SAY THE LEAST]

She wanted to “save” me, Alec. And now she sees herself as a failure since someone else beat her to it. I don’t think there’s much salvaging this.

[striketwice]

[ Well. That's... literally nothing he had on the list of possibilities he'd been forming in his head. ]

She... what?

[vecna]

[Surprise.]

She's been sitting on the idea for a while. I knew beforehand; her Shadow told me when I ran into it, sometime after you helped me with mine.

[Henry tactically keeping information to himself is a very him thing to do. Now he just wonders if he held onto it for too long, or not long enough.]

I probably shouldn't have said anything at all.

[striketwice]

That's not the part I'm stuck on.

[ Not even the part about her Shadow. Alec is a master of keeping shit to himself for various reasons. Henry's free to do the same, especially because none of that pertains to Alec at all. Or so he thought. ]

It's the part where she feels like she failed for losing some competition I didn't even know we were having.

[vecna]

[Oh. Well. How funny, then. (Not really "funny" at all.) Alec hones in on the one part that rankled Henry a bit.

He offers him that faux smile.]

Well. Apparently, I'm an achievement to either succeed or fail at. Congratulations, Alec.

[striketwice]

[ He rolls his eyes, moving to sit up a little straighter on the couch instead of the half-slouch, half-sprawl thing he has going on. ]

We both know that's bullshit. If you'd told me she was just disappointed over potentially not seeing you again, I'd get it.

[ But feeling like a failure? Who thinks like that?

His eyes flick over Henry's face. ]

What'd to tell her? After all that, I mean.

[vecna]

[He knows it’s bullshit. And maybe that’s not how she actually meant it. But if Henry chooses to dwell on the idea for too long—though, pointedly, he does not—the reason why it bothers him would crystallize. The way it makes him feel more like One again, just a parameter defined by performance, rather than Henry.]

I said it didn’t change anything. And that she did aid me in her own way, if that mattered so much.

[Though it felt like handing out consolation prizes, for how much good it did.]

It didn't help.

[striketwice]

[ Oh, but it does bother Alec. Possibly moreso than Henry because he doesn't have all the context, because he doesn't know Sprezzatura well enough to give her the grace of assuming that's not what she meant. He frowns. ]

And this is a friendship you want to salvage, or-?

[vecna]

[He pauses. He can throw away so many acquaintances with ease, thinking nothing of them, but there are a few in this place that stick like burs. And a rarer few that he would particularly not like to lose.]

I can count on my fingers how many people I've ever felt close to. People I've felt like I resonate with on a deeper level. You're one of them. ["Resonate" is maybe an understatement with Alec, but that's a different matter.] And so is she. But then again, so was Eleven. And that fell apart, too.

[So, you know, nothing new.]

So yes, it would be nice to salvage it, but I hardly know what else to tell her.

[striketwice]

Like I'd know where to start either. I'm usually better at making this kind of situation worse.

[ Personally, he doesn't see anything here worth salvaging, but far be it from Alec to tell Henry what he can and can't do. Some part of Alec has realized that he could probably ask just about anything of Henry and he'd do it, and that's something he's determined to never take advantage of. Alec uses people as easy as breathing, but not Henry. Never Henry. He's had enough of that. ]

But it sounds to me like the both of you could do with a couple days to sort out your thoughts.

[vecna]

[Henry’s far better at making things worse, too. He had to make an attempt to hold his tongue more than once, so maybe he’s simply not destined to provide people comfort. Kids, he can deal with. Their wants and needs are so easy to understand. But beyond that?

Opposite of Alec, Henry eases back to recline against the back of the couch. Honestly? All of this is just so… ridiculous.]

This is why I don’t like dealing with human relationships.

[Generally.]

[striketwice]

[ He breathes out something that could be a laugh. ]

Comes part and parcel with being human, my guy.

[vecna]

[don't laugh at his socially stunted wooooesss]

Maybe you've forgotten that I'm not exactly human anymore.

[Despite this body.]

[striketwice]

[ he'll laugh if he wants toooooooo ]

You're really gonna sit here and tell me this place hasn't changed you?

[vecna]

...No.

[Ugh.]

But it doesn't mean my preferences have been completely flipped around. You think I like being wrapped up in a web of complications? [No one likes that, Henry. Also, he's being hypocritical again for a man who hides so much.] I prefer it to be straightforward, like with you and me.

[striketwice]

No one likes being caught in a complicated situation, but I think it says something that you're at least trying to find a way to fix it.

[ He shrugs, content to leave it at that. Neither of them have ever been one for soul searching. Why dig deeper than that? ]

"Straightforward" is a nice way to put it. Mostly people just tell me I'm blunt. Or tactless. I get that one a lot.

[vecna]

[Absolutely no soul-searching when it comes to his own soul, at least. He is fine with letting the rest of it slide.]

That's not exactly what I mean, but yes. You are tactless a lot of the time.

[striketwice]

Et tu, Henry?

[ Another laugh. But more seriously: ]

In any case, just give it time. Sprezzatura is... a lot, I've noticed. But I do think her feelings of being a failure are all on her, and not anything you need to take responsibility for fixing.

[vecna]

[Listen, how many times has he called Alec "insufferable" in his head? He's only speaking the truth.]

I think I just believed that our friendship might have overridden any insecurities. [Naive of him, he supposes.] But if you say give it time, I'll give it time.

[Of course he'll take his advice.]

[striketwice]

[ If this whole thing comes down to insecurities, then he's honestly not sure if there's anything the likes of himself or Henry can do for Sprezzatura. For now, though, he'll keep that little thought to himself. ]

Anyway, sounds like you've got options now. You sure you still want to come back with me?

[vecna]

[The way his eyes snap over to Alec again, brow angled, is immediate. His response, just as much.]

What? Of course I'm sure. This doesn't change anything.

[Does Alec think it might have? Did he give him room to doubt? Or does he think he should reconsider? Oh, those are ugly thoughts, and they feel like nettle in his chest.]

I want you.

[That moment when you forget to use the words "to stay with" between "want" and "you" in your very pointed statement.]

[striketwice]

[ He's really not sure what he'd been fishing for with that question. Maybe he just wanted to see where Henry stood with regards to his very few connections.

In any case, the suddenness of that answer is not really a shock as much as it is a relief, one that Alec would otherwise be happy to never examine ever, but then Henry had to go and leave out some very key words in his next statement. ]

... Pardon?

[vecna]

[He nearly registers the slip-up as the words are forming on his tongue (or certain words aren’t), but it’s already too late, and that’s probably, definitely too much at once — even if it's the pure truth with all of the pretenses filed off.

And normally, Henry is cognizant enough to reel that back in, diffuse the degree of intensity he privately harbors. But if Alec felt relief at his immediate reply, he did not vocalize it, and this compels him to clarify. To double down, in case this does somehow slip away from him. He can’t allow that.]

I said I want you. [Let him hear it again, then.] It isn’t about which world I end up in, or what opportunities or freedoms exist for me there. It’s about the person, and I've chosen you, Alec.

I don’t want to be where you’re not.