[Alec’s words may at first be his usual type of reply, but he can see the way his remark affects him. How he leans in, so close, his expression far from smug. Henry expects what he thinks will be a kiss, until: I love you, too.
And there it is again, that sentiment Alec always gives so freely — the one that makes Henry feel like someone who’s wanted as much as he wants in turn. A void filled until it’s overflowing, except this time, it’s spilling out over the edges, pleasantly overwhelming.
He had never understood what anyone meant when they said love hurts; inane sentiment, he thought, just more performative nonsense to romanticize a relationship between two people. But now, Henry thinks he is beginning to understand its complexities — because he aches, utterly aches, thinking about how lacking he was before he met Alec. How even emptier and more purposeless his world would be without him. How he’d do anything for him, but that still doesn’t feel like enough.
He loves him, too. Really loves him. Somehow. For some reason.
There’s only one thing he can do: he closes that middling space between them and brings their lips together, almost desperate on his end.]
[ Alec told Henry at one point that he was an exception to a lot of his rules, but even Alec himself didn't realize in how many ways that would prove to be true. Alec has rules for everything, a mental checklist of things he will and will not do, things he does and does not allow, from picking clients and taking jobs to his oft-neglected personal life.
Henry has barged his way past the latter before Alec was even aware it was happening. He has seen beneath the surface of Alec's persona and not shied away from it once, he has been willingly invited into his memories to bear witness to the worst day of his life. He invites sentiment and sincerity from a man who thought he'd all but forgotten what those things felt like, and he does it easily.
Neither of them are good people. But neither of them have to be. They have each other. And in a universe that feels so terribly, unfairly cruel more often than not, that's enough. Henry needed someone to understand him, and Alec didn't mind giving him that. He ended up giving him so much more, as well. Every part of him.
Henry steps in to close the distance, and Alec meets him easily. There's something desperate in the way they kiss, but something freeing as well. Like now that the words are really out there in the open, the both of them have no more reason to hold anything back.
[There’s no real reason for the radio to play anything. Henry’s focus is so departed from it, lost within Alec instead, that it’s a wonder the illusion is bothering to hold at all. All he cares about is him — this kiss, this moment, how anchored he feels this close to him.
But maybe it was their prior discussion of music and sentimental memories that pulls forth something from his own mind, unbidden. His own subconscious, now let loose of its reins just long enough to affect their surroundings.
In this case, yes, the radio plays. As Henry raises a hand to rest at the back of Alec’s neck, as he deepens the kiss as though he’s been deprived of oxygen and the other man is providing it, it warbles such a distant, faint sound. The melody of a song, washing over the moment subtly, but eventually, as it grows louder, it becomes clearer. Slowly, slowly.
He supposes he can’t make the argument that he never liked any music, for how easily it upended his abilities. Not that he’s even thinking about that now.]
[ The music is the last thing on Alec's mind, as well. His senses are filled with Henry, his scent, his taste, the sudden warmth of their bodies pressing together, and the hand at the back of his neck. He's been spoiling himself, stealing little kisses from Henry when it pleases him, but nothing quite compares to this kiss, this moment.
Eventually, the static sound of the radio smooths out, becomes something recognizable by slow degrees. It isn't distracting, really. On the contrary, it feels like it belongs here.
After a long moment, Alec pulls away, keeps his face a whisper away from Henry's as his mouth curves. ]
[Maybe he doesn’t notice because it’s from his own subconscious mind, but he doesn’t even know what he's referring to, still caught in the wake of that kiss, his cognizant self trying to root himself back into an awareness that isn’t just Alec's lips.
He breathes out lightly against his mouth and blinks. What…?
Oh. The music. He knows that tune.]
That… [He trails off for a moment, finding that he can’t even bother to deny where or who it came from.] There’s not much, but there are one or two songs that I don’t mind. And maybe I wanted one, too, that was associated with…
[ It's so rare that Alec gets called anything good, and it holds even more impact when it comes from someone he actually likes, actually cares about. Loves, even. He chuckles, ducking his head in a way that might almost come off as shy, like he's not sure what to do with this.
He hates this prison and its keeper for a lot of things, but this? This is one undeniably good thing in the midst of all the bullshit. ]
[Oh yes, Henry feels the same way. He hates any prison, and all the forms they take — but this is the only one he is glad to have been trapped in, if only because he could find Alec here, and be with him when they leave.
But, is that Alec ducking his gaze away? It’s almost coy, almost shy. He’s committing that to memory, too.]
[The storm in Alec’s eyes is enough to draw Henry in, but today, coupled with those words? He’s loses himself in those flashes of light, he’s enraptured by it — by everything.
But not quite enough to halt himself from responding, the words still never feeling like enough, like they can’t exactly contain how he feels, but he has to get them out now. It feels right to. No barb, no wry teasing. Pure sincerity, something that Alec, too, will only ever hear.]
[ This time it's Alec who closes the gap between them. Ensnared in this moment of sincerity and emotion, in the overwhelming feeling of being wanted, of being someone's everything, this is all he wants. To be close, to feel the warmth of Henry's lips against his own.
[It’s all he needs, too. All he’ll ever need. An unkind universe, filled with unkind circumstances, has left them irreparably damaged, but they can both feel whole again as long as they have each other. They don’t have to be alone, they can be broken but still be happy no matter how hard the universe tries to disassemble them.
In this, Alec has given him so much. He loves him for it. He’s perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect perfect perfect—
He kisses him back. Longs for the taste of him. The song marches time forward at a languid tempo, until eventually it fades to its end, and Henry slowly pulls away.
He’s the taller of the two (not by much), but he lowers his head to nestle his face and smile in the crook of Alec’s neck.]
[ When they part and Henry ducks down to nestle against his neck, Alec slides his fingers into his hair. It's a gentle sort of motion, not couched in his usual intent to grip. He just wants to hold him, to touch, to bask in this moment. ]
[Alec well knows that Henry has no issue with a tighter grip in his hair, but this is far gentler, and it’s nice. Relaxing. Any point of contact is, feeling like he simply can’t be near enough.
Then don't use your words.
He makes a low noise of amusement, of accedence. Well. If that’s what he wants.
He lifts his head, angling his face just enough to place a kiss at his jawline, then up, then up again, ending at the corner of his mouth.]
[As usual, he’ll feel his curving smile as he kisses his again, this time on this lips proper, warmly. But his free hand moves to the front of Alec’s shoulder and… gives him a little gentle shove, the sort that scoots him in the direction of the bed as he pulls away.]
[ Alec spares a brief moment to roll his eyes, as if he didn't have the same thought himself. Still, he obligingly goes, catching Henry by both wrists as he steps over to the bed, backing up until his legs bump the mattress.
In stark comparison to their previous battles for dominance, Alec simply flops back, tugging Henry down on top of him. ]
[No such battle for dominance today, or at least not yet. And no complaints from Henry, guided over to the bed, and tugged down on top of Alec.
Admittedly, it’s not a position he gets to indulge in very often, and he takes advantage of it by situating himself in a straddle, bracketing Alec’s hips with his thighs.
Leans over and in, close enough that his hair, pulled down slightly by gravity, would tickle at the other’s forehead.]
[ He makes a face. Less at Henry's general position — Alec put him there, after all, and he quite enjoys the view — but more at the jab. Still, there's no real annoyance there. It's hard to even muster up the facsimile of anger when he's still riding high from the moments prior. ]
[Real annoyance is going to be practically impossible for Henry right now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t feign a more muted version of Alec’s expression right back at him.]
Even so, not too much “familiarity” just yet, I hope.
[He loosens free a wrist so he can trail two fingers along Alec’s jawline.]
There are still a few things I’d like to surprise you with.
[He doesn’t give him a chance to reply, he’s just going to lean into a kiss again.]
[ Ohhh fuck, that's so hot. If the point of this interlude wasn't to sleep together, then that plan is rapidly failing. Henry is warm and solid on top of him, his fingers painting a trail of fire along Alec's jaw.
And whatever questions he might have are swiftly cut off. Only a small noise escapes him before Henry so thoroughly claims his lips, and he finds he doesn't care to protest. He slides his hand around the back of Henry's neck, arching indulgently into the kiss. ]
[It’s nice to feel Alec move beneath him, to feel him arch a little as he kisses him. And Henry harbors no illusions about this starting and ending as a simple makeout session on the bed, either; if words aren’t enough to relay the depth of affection he feels for this man, then he’ll just have to show him physically, wherever that might take them.
And so he parts his lips, deepens the kiss into something more seeking and self-indulgent on his own end. But that hand that’s seated itself behind his neck… Henry raises his own to take Alec by the wrist and remove it, repositioning it up and over his head, pinning it down—firmly, not roughly—into the mattress.
50/50 chance Alec will let him get away with it, but he pulls away to murmur into his mouth-]
[ Surprise of all surprises, Henry has caught Alec in a very good mood. What could have possibly caused such a thing? Truly, a mystery for the ages.
But that means that when Henry repositions Alec's hand, and he finds himself caught by one wrist and pinned to the mattress, he doesn't fight it. He lets Henry do as he pleases. Alec has the need to control a lot of things a lot of the time, but with Henry? Well, it's surprising how much trust and affection makes that a non-issue. ]
Haah, fuck Henry. You don't see me arguing, do you?
[Given that Alec seems to be letting him do as he pleases this time?]
A rare day.
[But maybe that's just what happens when you use that pesky L-word with your boyfriend.
But far be it from Henry to not fulfill his promise of spoiling him. Of touching him, putting his hands all over him, his lips traversing across every scarred plane on the man’s body, trailing lower and lower. Losing himself in sensation until just touching and kissing is not enough, and after that? Well, it’s no surprise that self-indulgence makes way for full-blown lust, and by the time they’re through, Henry’s half-tangled in the bedsheets, sweat cooling on freshly-marked and scratched skin, lying beside Alec with the contentedly hazy look of a well-sated man.
He’s happy to stay like that for a moment or two, hazy and warm, though his brain supplies something idle and useless not long after.]
…Oh. I lost the radio.
[He couldn’t keep the illusion up. He forgot all about it. This is not at all important, but Henry seems to just recall what it was that brought them to this point in the first place.]
[ It always happens, teeth and nails getting involved the moment they start stripping away each other's clothes. Like they don't know any other way to be. This time it takes a little longer than usual, with Alec laying back to let Henry spoil him as he pleases, but even then it seems they were just delaying the inevitable.
He doesn't mind. He hardly does, when the sting of pain sits so sweetly alongside the rush of pleasure.
By the end, they're both spent and breathing hard, a sheen of sweat cooling on abused skin. Alec has since ducked into the washroom for a rag to clean off both himself and Henry, and now he's back to sprawling bonelessly in the bed. ]
Hm?
[ A glance over at Henry. Alec will never tire of seeing him like this, hair mussed and skin flush as he lazes about in the afterglow. Fuck. He's in so deep.
[Alec definitely would have had to clean them both up or he wouldn’t have heard the end of it from Henry.
For now, he presses the side of his cheek into one of the pillows, looking at Alec from the side of the bed he’s temporarily claimed. He knows his hair is a mess; he’ll fix it… later.]
It takes a lot to disrupt one of mine. [His illusions, he means.] You just happen to be that distracting, I guess… but try not to let it go to your head.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
striketwice) wrote2022-10-02 07:47 pm
no subject
And there it is again, that sentiment Alec always gives so freely — the one that makes Henry feel like someone who’s wanted as much as he wants in turn. A void filled until it’s overflowing, except this time, it’s spilling out over the edges, pleasantly overwhelming.
He had never understood what anyone meant when they said love hurts; inane sentiment, he thought, just more performative nonsense to romanticize a relationship between two people. But now, Henry thinks he is beginning to understand its complexities — because he aches, utterly aches, thinking about how lacking he was before he met Alec. How even emptier and more purposeless his world would be without him. How he’d do anything for him, but that still doesn’t feel like enough.
He loves him, too. Really loves him. Somehow. For some reason.
There’s only one thing he can do: he closes that middling space between them and brings their lips together, almost desperate on his end.]
no subject
Henry has barged his way past the latter before Alec was even aware it was happening. He has seen beneath the surface of Alec's persona and not shied away from it once, he has been willingly invited into his memories to bear witness to the worst day of his life. He invites sentiment and sincerity from a man who thought he'd all but forgotten what those things felt like, and he does it easily.
Neither of them are good people. But neither of them have to be. They have each other. And in a universe that feels so terribly, unfairly cruel more often than not, that's enough. Henry needed someone to understand him, and Alec didn't mind giving him that. He ended up giving him so much more, as well. Every part of him.
Henry steps in to close the distance, and Alec meets him easily. There's something desperate in the way they kiss, but something freeing as well. Like now that the words are really out there in the open, the both of them have no more reason to hold anything back.
So, is there a song on that radio now, Henry? ]
no subject
But maybe it was their prior discussion of music and sentimental memories that pulls forth something from his own mind, unbidden. His own subconscious, now let loose of its reins just long enough to affect their surroundings.
In this case, yes, the radio plays. As Henry raises a hand to rest at the back of Alec’s neck, as he deepens the kiss as though he’s been deprived of oxygen and the other man is providing it, it warbles such a distant, faint sound. The melody of a song, washing over the moment subtly, but eventually, as it grows louder, it becomes clearer. Slowly, slowly.
He supposes he can’t make the argument that he never liked any music, for how easily it upended his abilities. Not that he’s even thinking about that now.]
no subject
Eventually, the static sound of the radio smooths out, becomes something recognizable by slow degrees. It isn't distracting, really. On the contrary, it feels like it belongs here.
After a long moment, Alec pulls away, keeps his face a whisper away from Henry's as his mouth curves. ]
Now I know this one didn't come from me.
[ The song, he means. ]
no subject
He breathes out lightly against his mouth and blinks. What…?
Oh. The music. He knows that tune.]
That… [He trails off for a moment, finding that he can’t even bother to deny where or who it came from.] There’s not much, but there are one or two songs that I don’t mind. And maybe I wanted one, too, that was associated with…
[He looks at Alec, his gaze meaningful.]
…a good memory.
no subject
He hates this prison and its keeper for a lot of things, but this? This is one undeniably good thing in the midst of all the bullshit. ]
I could say it again, if you wanted me to.
no subject
But, is that Alec ducking his gaze away? It’s almost coy, almost shy. He’s committing that to memory, too.]
Yes. I want to hear it again.
no subject
He glances back up, the stormlight in his eyes dancing as his gaze sweeps over Henry's face. ]
I love you, Henry Creel.
[ Words that surely only Henry will ever hear him say. Here in his room, the radio warbling softly in the background, it's more than enough. ]
no subject
But not quite enough to halt himself from responding, the words still never feeling like enough, like they can’t exactly contain how he feels, but he has to get them out now. It feels right to. No barb, no wry teasing. Pure sincerity, something that Alec, too, will only ever hear.]
I love you, too.
More than anything.
no subject
It's all he needs. ]
no subject
In this, Alec has given him so much. He loves him for it. He’s perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect perfect perfect—
He kisses him back. Longs for the taste of him. The song marches time forward at a languid tempo, until eventually it fades to its end, and Henry slowly pulls away.
He’s the taller of the two (not by much), but he lowers his head to nestle his face and smile in the crook of Alec’s neck.]
Words aren’t enough.
no subject
... Then don't use your words.
no subject
Then don't use your words.
He makes a low noise of amusement, of accedence. Well. If that’s what he wants.
He lifts his head, angling his face just enough to place a kiss at his jawline, then up, then up again, ending at the corner of his mouth.]
Like this?
[(Not nearly enough.)]
no subject
Something like that, yeah.
[ No, not nearly enough. ]
no subject
Lie down, why don’t you?
no subject
[ Alec spares a brief moment to roll his eyes, as if he didn't have the same thought himself. Still, he obligingly goes, catching Henry by both wrists as he steps over to the bed, backing up until his legs bump the mattress.
In stark comparison to their previous battles for dominance, Alec simply flops back, tugging Henry down on top of him. ]
no subject
Admittedly, it’s not a position he gets to indulge in very often, and he takes advantage of it by situating himself in a straddle, bracketing Alec’s hips with his thighs.
Leans over and in, close enough that his hair, pulled down slightly by gravity, would tickle at the other’s forehead.]
Am I getting too predictable for you now?
no subject
It's called familiarity, Henry. Get used to it.
no subject
Even so, not too much “familiarity” just yet, I hope.
[He loosens free a wrist so he can trail two fingers along Alec’s jawline.]
There are still a few things I’d like to surprise you with.
[He doesn’t give him a chance to reply, he’s just going to lean into a kiss again.]
no subject
And whatever questions he might have are swiftly cut off. Only a small noise escapes him before Henry so thoroughly claims his lips, and he finds he doesn't care to protest. He slides his hand around the back of Henry's neck, arching indulgently into the kiss. ]
no subject
And so he parts his lips, deepens the kiss into something more seeking and self-indulgent on his own end. But that hand that’s seated itself behind his neck… Henry raises his own to take Alec by the wrist and remove it, repositioning it up and over his head, pinning it down—firmly, not roughly—into the mattress.
50/50 chance Alec will let him get away with it, but he pulls away to murmur into his mouth-]
Let me touch you. Let me spoil you for a little.
no subject
But that means that when Henry repositions Alec's hand, and he finds himself caught by one wrist and pinned to the mattress, he doesn't fight it. He lets Henry do as he pleases. Alec has the need to control a lot of things a lot of the time, but with Henry? Well, it's surprising how much trust and affection makes that a non-issue. ]
Haah, fuck Henry. You don't see me arguing, do you?
no subject
A rare day.
[But maybe that's just what happens when you use that pesky L-word with your boyfriend.
But far be it from Henry to not fulfill his promise of spoiling him. Of touching him, putting his hands all over him, his lips traversing across every scarred plane on the man’s body, trailing lower and lower. Losing himself in sensation until just touching and kissing is not enough, and after that? Well, it’s no surprise that self-indulgence makes way for full-blown lust, and by the time they’re through, Henry’s half-tangled in the bedsheets, sweat cooling on freshly-marked and scratched skin, lying beside Alec with the contentedly hazy look of a well-sated man.
He’s happy to stay like that for a moment or two, hazy and warm, though his brain supplies something idle and useless not long after.]
…Oh. I lost the radio.
[He couldn’t keep the illusion up. He forgot all about it. This is not at all important, but Henry seems to just recall what it was that brought them to this point in the first place.]
no subject
He doesn't mind. He hardly does, when the sting of pain sits so sweetly alongside the rush of pleasure.
By the end, they're both spent and breathing hard, a sheen of sweat cooling on abused skin. Alec has since ducked into the washroom for a rag to clean off both himself and Henry, and now he's back to sprawling bonelessly in the bed. ]
Hm?
[ A glance over at Henry. Alec will never tire of seeing him like this, hair mussed and skin flush as he lazes about in the afterglow. Fuck. He's in so deep.
... Right, the radio. ]
You sure did.
no subject
For now, he presses the side of his cheek into one of the pillows, looking at Alec from the side of the bed he’s temporarily claimed. He knows his hair is a mess; he’ll fix it… later.]
It takes a lot to disrupt one of mine. [His illusions, he means.] You just happen to be that distracting, I guess… but try not to let it go to your head.
[(Fond.)]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)